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I never realized how awful my anxiety was until I wanted to go for a walk and saw people walking down the street. I can deal with the deer and the coyotes but people, mm no. I don’t know how to be around people. Going on the bus, going to the city no problem, that’s different. These people might want to talk. It’s happened before. Can I just make myself big and scary like I do with the animals and scare them off? Probably not. Hmmm


I need to walk my pain is high and my depression is slowly working itself back into my life. The whole question of why does it matter pops up a lot when I’m depressed and that’s happening again. I’m over living with a partner that doesn’t want to do anything.

I’m going to start planning day trips without him. The biggest issue I have is exhaustion and it’s pretty bad. I did the anti inflammatory diet and I’m pretty much sticking with it now because of how bad the exhaustion is. When I eat bad it’s so much worse. Walking is insane. K noticed it and managed me last weekend.

This is where my depression is coming from. We took a walk around Coupeville and I was broken the rest of the day. At the end of the month I’m seeing my doc because walking or working out shouldn’t wreck me.

I’m depressed because I’m stuck, even if I had a car and friends I wouldn’t be able to kore than 20 min before I’d need a nap. I’m a wreck and I eat good, don’t drink and don’t do drugs. I walk every day (3 times a day) for ten mins each time. Something is wrong.

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girlshawnie

September 2023

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